


Fix Me

by no_bun_ballet (orphan_account)



Series: The Doll, Raven, Pixel, Spice, Jellyfish, and Healer [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Lullabies, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:40:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5577053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/no_bun_ballet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the bad end of Virus and Trip route:</p><p>Aoba is rescued from Virus and Trip, although he has no idea how. The only thing he is aware of, is the beautiful song he hears before he passes out. When he awakes, an unexpected surprise waits for him, in the most nostalgic place he can think of. (Aoba's recovery story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As I lay on the hard concrete my mind drifts in and out of consciousness. Surprisingly, my body is very calm despite being violated in the most vulgar ways possible. There's a slight burning sensation at the back of my eyes, the roots of my hair, the skin of my lips; all places abused by the two men beyond the door.

They promised me there would be no more night activities, that I should just rest; I wasted no time sinking to the floor when they released me, desperate to catch a night's sleep. So here I am, sated and numb and abused. My eyes close, the darkness consuming me even more so. I hear a creaking sound, then myself being lifted. There's no use in fighting because if anything, I'm confused. Virus and Trip are people who keep their word, even more a promise; so what do they need?

"Relax, Aoba san." The conniving voice of Virus fills my ears, and in a flash another part of me feels anger. Anger, because he couldn't just leave he here to rest and be alone.

I feel the familiar soft linen sheets beneath me and covers laying over my body. Then, there's a song. A beautiful song. It sounds techno but soft and climatic like ocean waves. A scaly body slithers over my arm and i recognize it as Hersha. She makes a high pitched sound, almost like metal scraping against metal and I cover my ears. Welter, the lion whom I've grown to hate so much joins in the mix and I hear Virus and Trip throwing commands at them to quiet down.

"Virus!" Trip, a sickening man, bellows his deep voice over the loud screeches. When I open my eyes, I notice that he's calm, not at all bothered with what's happening; neither does Virus. In fact, both men look quite annoyed. I, on the other hand, lay there in pain with tears stinging my eyes. There's no more song anymore but the screams are still there. I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding now...

"Let's go." says Virus. Trip opens the door from their shared room while Virus makes his way over to me. But he doesn't take me into his arms or smile and say that everything is alright, that he has under control. Instead, he crouches to my trembling frame and whispers, "It was fun Aoba san."

My body trembles because I don't understand what he meant. Do they plan to leave me here? What's going on? What was that song earlier?! All these thoughts swim through my head, a familiar pounding makes itself present. Then, there's quiet. I tilt my head to the two allmates that lay on the king sized bed with me; Hersha and Welter lay silent and unmoving. Black oil seeps from the two machines. The song reappears, but this time it's less frantic and more calm. It soothes my nerves and I start to fall asleep, oblivious to the deep voices of men outside the room.

The chains of sleep loosen their grip on my well rested mind and I surface from dream land. There's a gentle nudging on my shoulder and a ruffling in my hair. I grow repulsed, I don't want him to touch me so I scoot away some. There's a deep grunt, almost a dejected sound laced with sorrow.

"Aoba san..." Whipping my eyes open, because I know that voice, I gasp in shock at who is standing before me.

"Koujaku!" I barely manage a shout, my voice hoarse and raw from endless screams. My head starts to pound harshly and I wince, rubbing my temples. When it settles down I look up, growing even more surprised because...How am I here? The tags, the steps, the walls. I'm back at home in Benishigure territory.

Koujaku steps closer to me, his tall frame hovering over mine. The stance reminds me of Trip, how he would stand over me like that to ensue fear or as a warning when I might be punished. I flinch back at habit and tears escape my eyes, I clutch the fabric that lay over my shoulders. They're not clothes, I lost the privilege of wearing those when the two devils took me. I don't care what it is, as long as it covers my disgusting body.

"It's okay, calm down." he soothes. My breathing slows just enough to calm myself; Koujaku takes the opportunity to sit next to me on the hard floor and tilts my chin with his finger, making me look at him. Before he can speak, I stutter, trying to form a sentence, but my voice wont let me. It hurts too much. He looks at me, smiling as if this were amusing to him and speaks two words that I dread to hear. "Wake up."


	2. Chapter 2

I wake with a gasp, the air rushing out of me in one hoarse exhale. Short shaking breaths leave my mouth and I crack my eyes open slightly. I'm afraid of what I might see before me, afraid to come back to reality because it was just a dream. My best friend was a dream, Koujaku was just a dream. The song was just a dream.

In the corner of my eye I see red and black. Red and black? Virus and Trip don't wear those colors...

"Open your eyes, Aoba." a kind voice coaxes me. It sounds like Koujaku's voice but it can't be his, because I'm still at Virus and Trip's house. Midorijima is gone, my family is gone. But knowing Virus and Trip, I will be punished for not following a command, so slowly but surely I expand my vision until both eyes are fully opened.

A scar.

Long, black hair.

A bird.

Red.

_Red._

**Red!**

Tears swell in my eyes at the sight of my best friend. Here, in front of me, are Koujaku and Beni, smiles both plastered on their faces. He leans down with both arms spread, as though he wanted to hug me, and a part of me wants him to. But I'm dirty, those two touched me. I'm disgusting! Don't!

"No!" I shout and scoot back onto something like a metal surface behind my back. My heart rate picks up, I don't want him touch someone, something, so vulgar. "I'm dirty! No! Koujak-" my voice chokes on the last word and I start to panic.

There's a sound like clothes rustling, and then footsteps. The sounds come closer to me and my shaking body.

A white coat.

A green scarf.

Pink eyes.

White hair.

"Don't worry, master. You're not dirty. Please relax, Aoba san." The kindest voice that I haven't heard in Kami knows how long, makes itself present. Gradually, my shaking decreases and so do the tears. Just Clear's presence alone is relaxing.

"C-Clear." I gasp. Two firm hands caress my face, a familiar face rests itself on my forehead.

"You're okay now, master." he soothes.

Another pair of hands gently wrap themselves around my torso and lift me up. I stand up on shaky legs. I'm only able to see faint outlines of the room; my vision hasn't returned completely yet. But I relax and let myself trust and believe that Koujaku and Clear will take care of me. Before I attempt to step, my body is hauled onto something firm and warm. There are muscles and the faint trace of cinnamon that I can pick out. But how am I able to feel? My body isn't numb anymore and doesn't feel like a ton of bricks are weighing it down; I can smell too.

What's going on?

"Ow!" My head begins to pound furiously; too many thoughts are swimming around. I have too many questions.

"Aoba!" Koujaku's deep voice bellows and he touches my shoulder. "It's okay. We'll explain things later, just rest." Explain? Explain what?

It feels as if needles are slicing through my head and I feel nauseous so I calm myself down by taking deep breaths. That same song that I heard earlier starts to play, my body grows heavy.

Then there's darkness.

_"Time for a bath, Aoba san." Virus says, with a sinister smile. He lifts me from the bed and carries me to the black and white tiled bathroom._

_Once I'm seated inside the tub he starts the shower water; the liquid hits my face. I wait patiently for him to get started. For once, I'm not blindfolded, which is somewhat a relief, so I can see everything he's about to do to me. I don't have to anticipate, there's no anxiety._

_Virus grabs the spongey loofah and lathers it with a colorless substance. Then, starts at the bottom and scrubs my feet. He gradually makes his way up towards my face, I keep my breathing calm when he reaches my hair. Another first: he doesn't touch it at all._

_"Your hair is still clean from when we washed it last, Aoba san. Such a pretty blue." he whispers._

_The sloshing of water and dripping of the loofah keeps me calm. I like sounds like these, they're relaxing. But it seems that I won't be able to relish for long, Virus grabs my shoulders and flips me over in the bathtub, my head submerges in the water. I hold my breath instantly, trying to wait it out, but he's not letting up. If anything, his grip grows more firm against my back. I struggle to breath, I'm suffocating. And for a moment, I wish that I could rebel against him. I wish that I could use Scrap, that I wasn't so weak._

_I'm just not lucky enough._

"Aoba! Aoba! Wake up! Aoba!" I cough violently and clutch my chest. It hurts!

"Breathe, you foolish grandson!" My body, conditioned to follow orders, obeys its new master immediately. I take deep breaths, slow ones, and the pain subsides. I feel weak and scared, my body is heavy. I realize that I'm laying on someone's back. The same one from before; I clutch the material like my life depended on it and breathe in the earthy scent that comes from it. There's a deep grunt that vibrates through the thick layer of clothing.

"We're almost there. We're almost home, Aoba." Home...Home...?


	3. Chapter 3

"H-home?" I question. It's been a while since I've spoken, my voice comes out hoarse and it takes a while to say the whole word.

"Yes, Aoba san. We're going home now." Clear's cheery voice fills me with happiness. But how can I trust him, or anyone else for that matter. They could be clones or a figment of my imagination, another dream. The thought has me chuckling a bitter laugh; it ends up hurting my throat so I stop. But how funny is that? Being able to go home where I wont be tormented or humiliated beyond words.

Impossible.

"Pft, hahaha! Hahaha!" I start to laugh again, louder this time. I don't care that it hurts, I just need to let it out.

"Aoba..." Someone starts to speak but I tune them out. My nails dig into the fabric further, my body shaking uncontrollably. There's a wetness on my cheeks and for a moment I fear that it's blood, but then realize that they're tears. My face twists into a bitter expression. I sniffle and fidget, hiding my face in the process.

There are bright lights and the smell of disinfectant. Footsteps echo in the background. It sounds like we're in a cave, but that can't be because it wouldn't make sense; Virus and Trip don't live like animals, no matter how beastly they seem.

"There's the entrance." the man says. He tightens his grip on my legs and hoists me up further on his back. The man stops walking, probably waiting for someone seeing as his arms are full.

"It's locked." a pitched voice that I recognize as Beni, says.

"Damn it." Koujaku growls. I hear the sound of metal sliding and glass breaking. My body jumps a mile in the air and I tremble violently. _Don't show fear. Don't show fear. Don't be weak. Don't cry._

The man starts walking again, the crunch of glass underneath several pairs of feet. I peek my eyes open and blink several times to get used to my new source of light. I'm outside... The sun is shining, there are clouds in the sky; I can see the smallest hint of blue underneath them. Reaching a weak hand up, I aim to touch it. To feel it. How long have I been locked up? How long have I waited to have this moment of freedom?

A firm hand grasps mine and blocks my view of the sky. It's Koujaku, smiling down at me with absolute glee in his eyes. His fingers lace through mine and he pulls me from the other man's body, taking me in his arms. He keeps his gaze on me and takes a few more steps, then hugs me close as we dip down underneath something. A long, beige band with a silver buckle fastens itself on me and Koujaku. We're in a car.

The vehicle purrs to life, more sounds of seatbelts click. A dull sound of air conditioning cools our body temperatures. For some reason I can't feel anything though, probably because of the large arms and whatever material is covering me.

It feels like minutes, hours even as I'm sitting in this car, tucked into Koujaku's arms. Time is no longer an issue for me though, because of how long I've been held captive. The box, the dark room, both places taught me that no matter how long I waited, nobody was coming to rescue me. I could be in there for days and never see sunlight or food again and I would just have to suck it up and accept my fate.

Just the thought of that scares me. It makes me realize just how small and helpless I really am, that I'm just a speck in the giant world around me.

I'm powerless.


	4. Please Read!

**Hi there! otaku_dreams here! I just wanted to say hi and thank to the people who have favorited and added this story to their libraries. I greatly appreciate it, seeing as this is my first anime fanfiction. I hope that you will stick around to read the rest and I ask that you share this with anybody. Don't hesitate to give me feedback, I'm always looking to make my writing better.**

**Also, I have more stories on a different app/website that most people have, it's called Wattpad. I have two other stories up at the moment, both of which are boyxboy so while you're waiting for me to update this one, maybe you can check them out. (wink wink). My username is the same and my profile picture has a girl looking down at a butterfly on her finger, you should see a background picture of roses too if you click on my page.**

**Once again, thank you to the people reading this story so far!**

**Love ya!**


	5. Chapter 5

Those two words ring loud and clear in my head while I lay in Koujaku's arms. It's the truth. It's a mantra. Mantras are meant to be repeated.

_I'm powerless._

_I'm powerless._

_I'm powerless._

Each time I affirm the sad yet true sentence, it becomes even more believable with every breath. But the sliver of pride that I've managed to salvage starts to diminish in exchange, and my world starts to crumble. I want to cry, I want to scream, but doing so wouldn't fix my problems; so instead, I cling to the silky red fabric and hope that my feelings are reaching someone. And I want help or comfort or something to ground me from past delusions, but I don't know how to ask for it.

I need help, please.

**(Free POV)**

In thick silence, nobody dare move or breathe. They were all too stunned of what they found as they marched into Oval Tower and who they found in the process. In the rush of bringing down Toue to stop his unrealistic plans, the group ended up splitting from each other in the process. Noiz and Mink found each other eventually, as did Koujaku and Clear. With the exception of Aoba and Ren.

The last the group had seen the duo, was during the mix-up with Akushima. After things settled down and there were no more run ins with the police, Noiz, Mink, Koujaku, and Clear contacted Tae san and discovered that Aoba was already in Platinum Jail.

They had a meeting, gathered their teams and set out to sneak into Platinum Jail with the help of Noiz and his hacking skills. It took them longer than expected, but everyone made it and did their part to bring them one step closer to defeating Toue.

But still no Aoba.

He had just disappeared, not even Noiz could track him down. The group became worried, and although he tried not to show it, so did Mink. A scowl here and there, but if you looked into his eyes, you could see how concerned he was for the blue headed ghost. And with no leads they were stumped, nobody knew what to do. But not willing to give up, Clear and his enthusiasm along with Koujaku and his leadership, they camped out in one of the houses provided for them as part of the invitation. A few days passed after moving in with still no sign, until they saw two familiar blonde heads that belonged to the devils themselves. Virus and Trip.

The mafia were stalking around town, seemingly comfortable, but they had large grins that only foretold trouble. So of course, seeing as they were the team's only lead Clear took it upon himself to follow Virus and Trip; there was no reason to be stealthy, more clones like him were made with the same face and model placed around the area. Minutes passed and it seemed like Clear wasn't going to get anywhere, until the two devils entered Oval Tower of course. As he followed them up elevators and through corridors, the two stopped at a large crystal door; through the transparent type material, Clear could see monitors and tubes. And the faint trace of blue hair.

So he rushed back to Glitter, told everyone what he had seen with a distressed face, and set out immediately. Guns were fired, screams echoed through the halls, but they made it without casualties with the exception of anticipation and anxiety. Before Koujaku could make any harsh decisions, Clear played his song at full blast; the tune held special powers that could immobilize or calm someone within their state of mind.

"It's better to solve this as quiet as possible." he said.

So they opened the door...and looked inside. What they saw had tears brimming in Koujaku's eyes. He had never seen his best friend look so broken. Aoba's hair lay a tangled mess atop his head, bones protruded from his skin, his breathing seemed nonexistent. His body lay on top of a cool metal table, naked. It was big enough to seem like a queen sized bed. Next to him, there were the remnants of two allmates, a snake and a lion, with black liquid oozing from their crevices. The only things missing were the two twins. But that wasn't their concern, they needed to get Aoba out quick and fast. A car had been arranged to meet them outside the tower after sending a signal for when they were ready.

So that's how they ended up here, in this car, trying to figure out the best way to look at the situation. Mink's knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel so hard, he's just as confused as everybody else. He hates feeling confused, confusion is the weakest emotion. And if he could chose, he would gladly beat some sense into the crippled body in the backseat to gain answers; unfortunately, violence isn't a viable solution to this problem. Next to him, Noiz chews the inside of his cheek and peers out the window; his snarky attitude can do nothing in this situation. Clear keeps his eyes on his master, not wanting to turn his attention elsewhere. He was already lost once, there's no way he can bear losing him again. And Koujaku, he rocks Aoba to and fro in his lap. The younger boy seems more restless and confused the more time drags on and he knows that Aoba will hit his limit soon. But there's nothing he can do in a cramped car with no room to think or express his feelings. At least not to them.


	6. Chapter 6

The brakes screech to a stop in front of an old house that occupies a pink haired healer and her medicines. Quickly and quietly, the group exits the car and files into the house. There's no need to knock, Tae san was alerted of the group's arrival and left the door unlocked so they can enter without strain.

"Tae san!" Koujaku bellows his beastly voice at the foot of the stairs. He needs help with Aoba quickly, he's starting to shiver. Not a moment later, Tae comes down the steps, a concerned look in her eyes. Whatever Koujaku called her down for, it sounded urgent.

"Koujaku what-" Tae stands, shocked, at the condition of her grandson in Koujaku's arms. But that shock is immediately replaced with her second persona: a healer. She quickly tugs the raven haired man over to the couch and orders Mink to get warm water, Clear with blankets and clothing, and Noiz with getting pain medication from the drawer in the kitchen.

All three do so without complaint, while Koujaku stays and answers questions. Once everyone returns, she orders them all to wait outside the living room for privacy. Just as Koujaku stands she says, "I need you to stay here and help me." while unwrapping the blanket from Aoba's naked form and giving him thorough checking. "Surely you can hand a little nudity." Her eyebrow quirks and her lips tug into a tight line.

"Of course. What do you need, ba chan?"

"Hand me the water and that cloth over there on the table. He has a few cuts and bruises that need to be cleaned." Calming himself, Koujaku does as told and gives her the items.

"There doesn't seem to be any infections." Tae san runs her fingers lightly along the dark purple bruises and scratches that litters her grandson's body. As she trails her fingers down her neck, her hand touches something rather disturbing.

They had no shame.

"Ba chan?" Koujaku asks. He could see the tough old woman who is usually a hard nut to crack lose her stiff posture.

"I need his clothes." A pair of grey sweats and boxers and dark blue shirt are handed to Tae. She returns the pants to Koujaku with a slight tint in her cheeks and tugs the shirt over Aoba's head. Koujaku, blushing as well, slides the clothing over the boy's slender legs without a word.

A few more moments of silence and hiding his body in blankets, Aoba stops shivering and his brows relax, a slight snore coming from his lips.

"I need you to tell me now, Koujaku. What happened?" Tae says and getting straight to the point.

Koujaku clenches his hands by his side and grits his teeth. He's not sure either, but can take a wild guess. "We don't know. In Platinum Jail we caught sight of the two devil twins so Clear volunteered to follow them since they were the only thing close to suspicious. While he was gone, the rest of us waited until he came back, most of us arguing about places that Aoba might've been. And when Clear came back with a sighting of Aoba, I swear ba chan, I've never ran so fast in my life. It turns out he was being held captive in Toue's tower. A bunch of monitors were hooked up to his body. And there were other disturbing things…." Koujaku can't bear to relive the details, what he saw in there was just disgusting and wrong. Very wrong.

"The dog." Tae whispers.

"Dog?"

"Where's Ren?" Slowly but surely, the pink haired lady's visage starts to pale. Ren was the closest friend Aoba's ever had. There's no doubt in her mind that he would blame himself if something were to happen to the poor dog, no matter how many spare parts he's made of.

That thought actually never occurred to Koujaku. Everyone was so focused on getting Aoba out that they completely forgot about Ren. A wave of shame passes over Koujaku's features. When Aoba wakes up, how were they supposed to explain where Ren is? Let alone that they forgot to check….

"I don't know." he says, barely above a whisper. Tae catches it though; bitterness and anger flares for a moment in her eyes but are quickly replaced with the same blank expression she wears when covering up a lie.

"Don't blame yourself Koujaku." Taking a breath and clearing her head, she calls in the others.

"How is master?" Clear asks. He bolts straight to Aoba on the couch and for a moment he forgets about Aoba's sensitivity; Clear cards his fingers through the matted blue hair but quickly pulls back. There was no reaction thankfully.

"Be careful Clear! And he's fine. Physically at least." Tae responds.

"I'm sorry Tae san. I just missed him so much! And he looks so fragile." Clear's gentle and concerned voice softens the older lady's features. Sighing, she turns her attention to the other three.

"How did things work out with Toue?"

"My men took him down. There were a few casualties along the way, apparently he used some strange power with his voice. Majority overruled though and the selfish bastard killed himself. A gun to the head." Mink answers first, the calmness of his voice in contradiction with his eyes. He planned to do the same in due time.

"Good. As brilliant a man he was, there were other ways to use his knowledge. I can't believe he gave up so quickly though."

"Tch. I could care less as long as he's dead and stays that way. Now we have to track down those blonde freaks before something else bad happens." Now that was something they could all agree on. Even though he's not especially familiar with Aoba, Noiz took a liking to his optimistic personality and sassy attitude. Whatever they did to him, he definitely didn't deserve, he can say that much.

"Those bastards. I don't like what we found in that room, the monitors were especially shady. I didn't get to take a good look at them though." Koujaku growls.

"When you guys were getting Aoba, I had P download all the data that was on the computers. We can look at it later."

"Later is best, I just want to make sure that Aoba is okay tonight. Is it alright if I take watch?"

"Don't ask me, it's whitey over there that you have to ask. If he's this clingy now, there's no way that he'll leave Aoba any time soon now that we've found him." Turning slightly, Koujaku spots Clear on the couch huddled next to Aoba. His arms are firmly grasping the frail body as if he'll disappear without proper supervision. If the situation weren't so serious, he might have smiled.

Might have.

"Alright then, well you two can decide that later. For now, you guys are welcome to spend the night if you're tired. If not, then I'll contact you with news concerning my grandson." Nobody moves from their spots.

"Make yourself comfortable then." she concludes. The bottle of pain medicine is left on the table as well as a glass of water for when Aoba wakes. Those bruises looked painful and might still hurt when he wakes up.

The hours pass by and a low buzz of chatting warms the grief stricken house. As promised, Koujaku, Mink, and Noiz made themselves comfortable by placing themselves around the couch underneath blankets and pillows. Clear remains untouched seeing as he won't budge.

None of them will admit it, but each one holds a special attachment to the blue haired punk. They'll stay as long as they need to, to help Aoba recover through this mess.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't remember much of what happened yesterday, my only memories of being with Koujaku and Clear. After we got into the car my body started going cold and my mind was numb, still not over the realization I had. I'm powerless and I'm weak. I'm powerless in my dreams and I'm too weak to fight back anymore in reality. I'm done. I don't care what people do to me anymore. So as I lay here, bundled up in clothing for the first time, my body is too weak to reject the comfort. Selfish right? But I can't help it, the feeling is nice.

Slowly, I open my eyes to see where I am. The sunlight stings for a moment, but I get over it quickly. Beyond the rays of sunshine, there are three bodies rising and falling on the carpet that are wrapped in blankets like I am. And then there's a heavy feeling, like someone is laying on top of my body. And then I see the hands wrapped around my torso. My body tenses and I wait it out; no matter how many 'play' sessions I had with Virus and Trip, they've never been this close to me before even though they claim that they love me. The contact is suffocating.

"Master?" I flinch and my heart threatens to leap out of my chest at the sudden calling. But I know that voice and there's only one person who calls me by that name.

"Hm?" I groan. In response, Clear turns me around and hugs me close. I maintain my breathing, seeing that he isn't a threat but my mind is reeling.

_Suffocation._

_Suffocation._

"I missed you, master!" As usual, Clear's enthusiasm shows through every word and takes its full effect. I hear sighing and ruffling of material behind me, and I decide that the others must have woken up.

There's a gasp. "Aoba!" Koujaku's large hands pull me away from Clear and hug me close. I don't hug him back though, I feel trapped and dirty. Koujaku shouldn't have to touch me.

"Aoba?" Koujaku pulls back and looks at me in the eyes. The action felt dominating and powerful, I quickly avert my gaze downward.

"Koujaku..." Clear says. "Could you help me take Aoba to the bathroom?" Just like I thought, I'm dirty. The covers are peeled back and there's another minute gasp. Then, I'm lifted into Koujaku's arms and carried upstairs. From behind his shoulder, I can see Clear following behind Koujaku, giving me a shy smile.

Once we're inside, the bathroom door closes and a shower starts running. I'm happy it's a shower, because then I won't drown, I can't be suffocated.

"Aoba, we have to take off your clothes. Is that alright?" Not caring who asked, I nod my head. I'm set down on the toilet and my shirt is removed at the same time my pants are by the two. When they throw the pile away, I can see a dark spot in the middle of the sweatpants. Shame immediately overwhelms me and I have the urge to cry.

_"It seems like he wet himself."_

"Let's get you in the shower now." My arms are lifted and I stand shakily on my legs. One foot in front of the other, each leg finds its way into the tub. I rest my weight on Koujaku's shoulder, while Clear lathers up a loofah and scrubs my body. He's gentle and kind to my skin, skipping the purple bruises and scratches that litter most of my torso. There are two especially large ones where I remember people punching me; they crawl out over my stomach in an almost viral way.

Once my body is scrubbed and rinsed, Koujaku turns me around so my head is being wet by the shower head. He squeezes a pink substance into the palm of his hand and gently works it into my scalp. Normally, I wouldn't let anyone touch my hair, but my body isn't exactly mine anymore so I don't care. Once in a while, it stings and I let out a hiss of pain. Koujaku apologizes immediately afterwards.

"I guess it really is time for a haircut. Huh, Aoba?" Koujaku tries to lighten the mood a little. It doesn't really work. He runs his fingers from root to tip, combing it out as he goes. This part doesn't really sting, Koujaku is just that gentle. Finally, he rinses my hair out and stops the shower water. Clear hands him a towel and wraps me in it, then leads me into my room.

"Clear, I need clothes."

"Everything is on the bed Koujaku san." Clear says. Koujaku grumbles and sits me down. My hands run themselves over the light blue blankets. A spot of pink catches my eye and I turn my full attention to it. My headphones lay on top of my pillow, they're still bright and shiny like I left them. I feel like something is missing though. But I can't tell what...

"Clear, can you get Aoba ready for breakfast? I'm going to ask Tae san if she'll make something."

"Leave it to me." Koujaku gives a nod and walks out the room, shutting the door behind him. Now it's just me and Clear. He makes sure that it doesn't get silent between us and I'm grateful for that; the last thing I want to do is talk.

"It's a nice day out, master. Maybe we can take a walk." My eyes brighten at the mention of being outside. The sun is bright, I can tell that it isn't too hot today. Clear smiles, noticing my excitement and continues to prep me. A few minutes later, I'm dressed in a new pair of loose pants and shirt, my skin is smooth and I smell decent. Just this simple care is enough to heighten my senses little by little, I can smell and feel things better.

"Let's go." Clear stands and grasps my hand.

Before he can pull me up, I swallow thickly and look up into his eyes. "T-thank you." I manage. The biggest smile that I've ever seen stretches out on Clear's face, he bends down and hugs me once more. The warmth is gone and I'm pulled upwards. Clear caresses my back and helps me walk on two left feet to the kitchen.

When I enter the kitchen, everyone is sitting down at the table with plates in front of them. Mink is sitting next to Noiz, Koujaku sitting next to ba chan. The seats at the head and foot of the table are the only ones left, so Clear and I take our places there.

"Are you hungry Aoba?" Ba chan asks. To be honest, I'm not sure. It was pretty rare for Virus and Trip to feed me, and between days the hunger pains would hurt so much that my body just got used to it. I stopped being hungry after a while, but still ate when they told me to. To spare me the trouble though, I nod my head.

She probably had something prepared because not a moment later, a plate with apple slices and a cup full of tea is placed on my side. I attempt at mumbling a thank you, but my throat feels dry and hoarse so I save it for later. Raising a hand to the plate, I begin to eat. It tastes sour and tangy just how I like it. When I was younger, ba chan would always buy green apples and use those with her medicines. Sometimes, I would take one from her basket when she wasn't looking and eat that at the park, always giving some to Koujaku as well if I saw him.

"Hey, did you want to look at the data when we're done?" Noiz chimes next to me. Data?

"Yeah. We need to know that it isn't dangerous and that there aren't any after effects. Just set everything up at the table when we're done. Is that okay ba chan?" Koujaku asks. She nods her head stiffly. Part of me wants to know what they're talking about, but the other part wants to focus on finishing so I can go out with Clear.

When I finish eating, I take a sip of the tea; the warm liquid hits my tongue. Covering my mouth with my hand, tears spring my eyes and I start to gag. It's sweet. Memories of the cake, candy and other things that Trip would stuff me with plays in my mind. I hate the taste now, it disgusts me to the core.

Two large hands grab my shoulders harshly and shoves me to the trashcan before I puke all over the table. Everything that I consumed all rushes back up and out in painful heaves. I whimper and clutch my stomach, trying to breathe and relieve the cramping that lay there. The vomiting stops after a minute. My body feels dizzy, palms sweaty. Even so, I manage to get back up from my knees and stand. Mink looks me over with a hard gaze and sighs.

"One of you, take him so I can clean up."

"I got it." Noiz sighs and takes my hand. To my surprise, he laces his fingers with mine, a pink tint coloring his cheeks.

**(Free POV)**

"You shouldn't force yourself to eat if you're not hungry." Noiz says as he leads Aoba into the bathroom. Although he can't feel, he does have sensations in his tongue and knows what it's like to puke. The taste is unpleasant.

Aoba stays silent, letting Noiz lead him to the sink and turn on the water. He grabs his toothbrush and starts to scrub his teeth, desperate to get the taste out of his mouth. Just being able to do something this small by himself feels amazing, literal freedom in the palm of his hand. Trip would always do it himself; it never ended well. But maybe he should explain why that particular incident happened. He doesn't want to worry ba chan or the others, so maybe a simple warning could prevent something like this happening again.

Finishing up, Aoba returns the toothbrush to the side of the sink and looks down at the floor. Noiz waits silently, seeing that he has something on his mind.

"I don't like," he clears his throat, "I can't eat sweet things."

Quirking an eyebrow, Noiz looks at Aoba's ashamed features. He looks defeated and tired. What happened to Aoba in the two weeks they couldn't find him? What caused him to look this damaged?  
Looking back, Aoba never hesitated to sink his teeth into the crispy donuts that his grandmother made when he visited that one time. Those were sweet, if not borderline candy. Yet here he is, spewing up all of his guts because of something that doesn't suit his taste buds.

"Aoba. What the hell happened to you?" Noiz's voice sounded like canons in the small space that they were in.

**Author's Note**

**Hey! So, if you have any questions then feel free to comment, I know some things are confusing right now. Aoba's abduction wasn't what you thought it might be in this story *wink wink*. Also, Ren's location will probably addressed in the next chapter!**

**Maybe.**

**Also, I know his recovery seems slow right now, but I will get into it. I feel like if I rush things, then you wont feel the bonds between Aoba's friends and how they plan to help him. Each of them will play a specific role in his recovery, my favorite being Mink and Clear's for what I have planned.**

**That's all I wanted to say!**

**Love,**

**OtakuDreams**


	8. Chapter 8

Aoba's mind was in turmoil, lacking the balance it desperately needed. He could feel a faint presence in the back of his head trying to reach him, but otherwise too weak for the message to get through. It felt like a warning, like a hand reaching out to him to get him to calm down, but it's not working. Aoba knew the question would come eventually but wasn't prepared to answer so suddenly and in a vulnerable position. All he wants to do is tend to his own wounds, but lick them raw to compromise. There's nothing he can do to change what Virus and Trip did to him, there's no such thing as change. And God, wasn't that a hard truth to learn.... There's also no reason to trust because that ran out a long time ago; even though he loves Koujaku and ba chan, all the while sharing a meaningful friendship with Noiz, Mink and Clear, he just can't shake the dizzying feeling that something bad will happen if he opens up and admits the truth. That he was raped. That he was starved and humiliated. That he was tortured beyond belief. It's scary to relive and painful to tell; walking away is the best choice.

Swallowing thickly, he gives a quick glance up and bites his lip. His breathing comes out in short pants and an ache settles behind his temples. In Aoba's mind, everything blanks and leaves empty spaces. Turning on his heel, the blue haired boy walks out to avoid further discussion. Noiz just stares with his hand in his pocket, growing a little pissed off but mostly concerned. He knows what it feels like to not want to talk about old scars; only Aoba's aren't old, they're still new and unprotected. It's easy to see why he walked away.

**Aoba POV**

_There's no way I'm going back downstairs after that_. I think. Not only did I puke, people were there to witness it; my humiliation rate is starting to spike.

"Hm?" A sparkle of pink catches my attention in the corner of my eye. Turning on my heel, I exit the hallway and walk into my bedroom. There on my pillow lay my headphones, rested and tempting me to come closer. Obliging, I timidly pick them up, laying my body along the wrinkled blue sheets, and turn them on. Not only is music a haven for me, it acts like a drug; it consumes me, leaves my senses blurry and numb. The perfect cocktail of serenity.

Sighing, I relax into the sheets, trying to shake the strangeness of wearing clothes after....That. And no matter how much I want to go out with Clear today, I can't stand the stares anymore; there's something Koujaku, Noiz and the rest are hiding from me. I know they found something in that room. Meanwhile, all I can do is hope that they don't pry too far into my mind. What happened back there is something to be kept under lock and key.

**Free POV**

After Aoba left, Noiz decided that he couldn't wait any longer and went downstairs into the kitchen. On his way there, he spotted the blue haired boy laying down with headphones on, clutched in the palm of his hand.

"Sit down." he says as he enters the kitchen. Clear tries to shuffle past Noiz, desperate to walk upstairs and check on his master.

"I need to see Master!"

"He's not going anywhere, and this is more important. Sit down." All of his frustration is put into a glare, fists clenched and cramping. Clear makes a doubtful expression but sits down at the table. Rubbing his temples, Noiz pulls out a chair with a screech and sits down. "P, open ViTri files." A green cube the size of a fist shoots from his pocket and lands atop the table. A large screen pops up above his head, several video icons listed on the page. Next to each icon is the word 'session' in thick white lettering.

"Sessions?" Koujaku furrows his eyebrows and scoots closer. Noiz taps on the first file, 'car session', and waits for the video to play. As it begins, two shadowed figures are shown sitting in a car from a Birdseye view. It sounds as if they are on a freeway and the two, presumably Virus and Trip, are talking about their escape from Toue. Trees and such blur pass in the windows.

"What...." Virus starts to make a conversation with Aoba. But Aoba isn't in the car.... Yet he's making clear statements directed towards him. "How do you make a conversation with some who isn't there?" Clear mutters. About after five minutes, the session ends and Noiz taps on the next one. This one is labeled Isolation.

Koujaku pales alongside Clear and turns away from the screen. Screams, Aoba's screams, blare from the audio and you can hear him pounding on a surface. It sounds like metal, everything reverberates and echoes in the tiny space. He starts to hyperventilate, the screams turn into begging and then sobs. This continues for an hour, Noiz skipping through most of it to see if anything changes. Eventually he reaches the end.

"They kept Aoba in there for 72 hours!" Koujaku bangs his fist against the table, his chest aches and flares; the beast comes out of him. How could they do that to him, what did Aoba do to deserve any of this? "Play the next one." he says through clenched teeth. No matter how sickening this is, Koujaku wants to know how to help Aoba recover from whatever they did to him in that room. If Aoba bared torture for this long, then surely he-

"Turn it off." Clear whispers. Tears are streaming down his face in a steady flow, his visage screams nothing but agony and sadness. But nobody listens. Video after video, they discover just how much torture the devil twins dumped on Aoba. Each of then climaxed with intensity, the next one more disturbing than the next.

" _Aaaah!!!!_ " Noiz winces at Aoba's hoarse screams of agony as lion claws shred and pierce his skin. He begs and pleads, but that bastard just keeps on watching with a sickening smile. Then-

"Turn it off!" Clear screams and pushes his chair from the table. Immediately, Noiz shuts down and closes all files, dropping his head into his hands. _Thank Kami that Tae san wasn't here to listen to this,_ they think.

Clear bolts out of the kitchen, wanting to comfort his master as much as he can. No way is he sleeping alone tonight, or ever again for that matter. Koujaku just sits there, nails digging into the polished wood of the dinner table, silent tears down his face. Mink made his way out a while ago, deciding to take a walk and clear his head. Noiz bites his lip, wishing he could feel the pain.

 

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating sooner! The internet was off and I had to wait until the bill was paid. Everything is running smoothly now and I came up with a few more ideas on how to play out this story, so this chapter will be longer than other ones to make up for lack of updates.
> 
> Enjoy!

Tae came home to silence.

There was tension so thick that she felt it could be cut with a knife, much less a wave of her hand. She had only been gone for a few hours, doing well to remind the boys to keep a watch on Aoba; his mental state is fragile at the moment. Whatever happened in that tower broke him.... Now all she has to do is brace herself when Aoba takes notice that Ren is missing. A sour look twists Tae's face, her lips pucker and hands tremble, rattling the bags clutched between them. The aspect of lying to her own grandson sickens her, churns her stomach. What did this boy, this child do to have chaos placed throughout his life? Being born only to die within a moment's notice in a lab, growing up without parents, having an unbalanced and fragile mind. Sometimes she wonders how he hasn't snapped, hasn't cursed Kami for having bad luck.

Sighing, Tae places her bags along the counter; she stopped by the market to buy a few herbs to make ointment for his bruises and cuts. It wont work for a few of them, including the two large marks on his stomach, but if they're any recent then it should help with the pain at least.

She jumped, stiffly, when someone puts their hand on her shoulder. "Bachan." Tae turns around to meet Koujaku's eyes. They're gleaming and glossed over and his posture is slouched. If she looked close enough, his eyes could even be considered red at the moment, like a crimson moon.

"What is it? Is Aoba okay?" He opens his mouth as if to say something, but chokes on the lump lodged between his throat instead. It wasn't long ago that they finished watching those videos so they're still fresh in his mind, the screams still ringing in his ears.

"Bachan.... He was," Koujaku sniffles and wipes at the few tears that managed to escape, "He was tortured." His words barely registered in her ears, they were dry and drifted through the air like dust, only able to actually burn when they sting her eyes.  Tae begins to tremble, silent tears roll down her face. Her next question will surely be something to regret asking but she wants--no, _needs_ to know what happened. The tension and silence is making her uneasy. And she's known to be a confident person, always jumping headfirst into difficult situations; yet when it comes to family....

Shaking her head, Tae swallows thickly and asks, "How do you know?"

"There were videos." She jumps slightly at the new voice in the room, barely noticing Noiz sitting at the kitchen table. Koujaku glares and clenches his fists, biting viciously at his lip to keep his anger at bay. "They were sick enough to record the whole damn thing." A bitter taste spreads across his tongue as he says each word. Noiz holds his head in his hands, fingernails digging into his scalp.

* * *

_"..ba" A faint voice calls out to me in the distance. I turn around sharply, blue hair wiping my cheek. All there is, is darkness in here, nothing but me and a new voice that I haven't heard before. Usually when I enter this dream state I'm left alone to my own thoughts, not really sleeping or awake; even my privilege to dream...to escape, has been taken from me._

_"Ao...ba." The stranger sounds familiar; there's a strange vibration in my chest that mocks the deepness of his voice.  Growing scared, I wrap my arms tightly around my torso and squeeze my eyes shut. A gentle caress on my cheek, a wet feeling on my nose._

_"Hmph!" My throat closes up, making a strangled sound coming from my lips. I feel like I can't breathe, like I can't move._

_"Open your eyes, Aoba."  My eyes snap open, conditioned instincts setting in. Slowly, they start to grow wide and fill with tears. I reach a hand out to pet the soft, black fur that I haven't touched in so long. It's still soft...._

_"Ren?"_

* * *

 

Tae's legs shake and threaten to give out; she clutches the counter for support.

Medicine won't be enough.

Everything starts to click together in her mind, the puzzle pieces starting to fit. He was hooked up to monitors...tortured....

"He was experimented on." she murmurs. Koujaku's eyebrows furrow, not exactly sure what she meant.

"What do you mean?" he asks. Tae lets out a shaky breath and sits down at the table. She takes a moment to organize her thoughts, not sure how to explain fully.

"Koujaku. You said when you found Aoba, he was hooked up to monitors, computers, chords and cables." He nods his head. "In Toue's tower....When I worked there," she revizes, "I was a scientist studying the brain. I did tests and researched ones that had stopped functioning...that were damaged. I wanted to find a cure or...a way to help, convinced that everything I did was for the greater good. But I was betrayed by Toue and found out that he was using all my findings to fuel his own sick explorations." She pauses for a moment. "What I'm trying to say is, Toue and several of his men now have access to dangerous methods of torture that could have been used to hurt Aoba. I can't tell you specifically what might have happened in that room but--"

"You think that what he went through was all simulated." Noiz finishes. He can start to figure out what the old lady means, but some of it confuses him still.

"Yes. What you saw in those videos may have been images placed in his mind to look like they were actually happening. Though most of what you told me might have been real. They might have even-" She stops herself before those words can slip from her mouth. Still, that mark she found on Aoba's neck couldn't have been an accident.

"That doesn't make any sense, ba chan! How?" The raven haired man paces the room furiously, tucking his hands within the folds of his clothes. All of this is confusing, infuriating, and most of all just plain strange! "How are we supposed to help him?! His physical needs can be taken care of, but mentally....He didn't even want to talk, let alone look at any of us. He averts his eyes whenever Clear or I look at him, always stays within distance like he's afraid of touch! What are we supposed to do about that?!" Koujaku's anger reaches an all time high and he slaps his palms on the counter.

"Koujaku!" Tae warns. This isn't the time or place to take his frustrations out on whatever he can find. "If you need a moment then walk outside and take a break. I need you to think right now instead of jumping to the worst of conclusions." Her words are clipped and tight, getting straight to the point.

But that was a good question.

What do we do?

* * *

_"Ren!" I clutch the fat bundle of fur to my chest, weeping and choking on my breaths. Guilt, shame and paranoia flush through me all at once. This is what I was missing, why I feel so empty. How could I have forgotten that Ren was missing? How could I-_

_"Don't say that." he says. I stiffen in response._

_"How did you know what I was thinking?"_

_"I am...." Ren pushes his paws against my chest and looks up at me, sparkling eyes reflecting my blue ones, "I am part of you, Aoba."  My head swirls with thoughts, doubts and possibilities. I set him down, crouching next to Ren on my knees. I_ _try my best to reach out to Ren, to get him to explain more but there's a tugging sensation at the back of my head, almost like a rope pulling me away from him. Everything starts to swirl and spin, becoming more disoriented by the second._

_"Ren." I groan. "It's okay. We'll talk later. Rest, Aoba." I shake my head, not wanting to leave him again. What if he doesn't come back? What will happen?_

_I struggle and fight, trying to keep myself grounded,_ _but whatever is trying to take me is succeeding. So I give up, promising to find him later, unshed tears settling in._

I wake with a gasp, scooting all the way back onto my headboard. My heartrate pumps and pumps and pumps to the point where it doesn't even feel like I'm breathing. I can hear groans, like someone calling out a name and I want it to stop, it's only making my headache worse. But as my conscience clears and my breathing gets under control, I realize it's coming from me. I'm calling out Ren's name, tears sliding down my face, pooling under my chin and dripping onto the pillow clutched between my hands.

White hair peeks in the peripheral of my vision, I flinch. "Master! Calm down, it's me, Clear!" He moves into my line of sight, hovering above my knees. His eyes look calm but scarred and confused so I steady my thoughts, breathing in and out of my nose. As I finish, I realize just how close Clear is so I bunch myself into a tight ball, holding my sides for comfort. A thumping sound comes from the bedroom door, I look up to it, wondering if Clear moved away, but see that it's Koujaku instead.

He's pale and crying. A haunted, guilty look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." he mutters.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

> **I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Fix Me will ve on hold for a while. Writter's block is a butt and between performances and tests, I can't find the time to actually think and write. But before you start freaking out, I just want to tell you that once finals are over at the end of January, I'll start updating again.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Just be patient with me please?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Love,**
> 
> **Otaku_dreams**


	11. Capter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finals are finally over!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever it is that Koujaku is trying to apologize for, it sounds important; his sentence sounds like the beginning of a speech, of an apology created to mend bonds over that were once shattered like cracks in pavement. And it's not often that you hear Koujaku say 'sorry' to someone unless he truly has done something stupid or foolish....

"Aoba, we need to talk about what happened when you were gone." he starts, still leaning on the doorway. Clear shifts next to me, obviously uncomfortable.

I don't blame him.

They found out what Virus and Trip did to me, they probably want me gone now. I was passed between man and man, scarred and beaten, marked with their sick brands on my neck. All in all, I'm a disgusting piece of flesh that doesn't deserve to be here or be seen; there's no need to talk about what happened because it's already done. They can't fix me.

"No." I mutter. A nagging presence in the back of my head prompts me to change my mind because these are my friends and they're here to help me. But if I really think about it, Koujaku and Tae are the only people I know; Clear came up spontaneously, as did Mink and Noiz. The last two also responsible for a few marks on my body. Who am I to trust them? What can they do for me? _Nothing._ And it'll stay that way as long as I'm living.

"Aoba," Clear starts, but I don't want to hear what he has to say.

"Get out."

* * *

As Mink stands in the hallway, listening to the miniature spat going on inside Aoba's room, he can't help but become pissed off at the blue haired man's behavior. Maybe it's because he can't stand how close in affinity the two are or maybe it's because deep down inside, Mink harbors affection to those who have suffered in their lifetime. After Toue lit his village on fire, Mink isolated himself and hated the demise, the _humiliation_ of not being able to save his own family or anyone else for that matter.

All he was left with were chains, thick **heavy** chains found deep in the forest a ways from his village. He wasn't sure where they came from or why they were there, but seeing the metal left dangling from a tree branch reminded Mink of his future; bound and guarded from humanity. As long as he wore them, he was sure his soul could withstand leaving his own home. But Mink doesn't want Aoba to become like him; he wants Aoba to smile and be able to live with his past. He can't put it in words but...there's something about the blue haired man that makes him...

Happy.

And then pissed off all over again.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter! I promise there will be more later tonight, I just need to brainstorm.  
> Love you guys!!!
> 
> (Check out: Fill the Gaps an original work that I'm putting together. Yes, there is BDSM, yes there is erotica, yes it's a boyxboy relationship)


	12. Climax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Late Valentines Day!!!!!!!

 

As Aoba starts to get more and more anxious by the second, his hands begin to shake and sweat, eyes darting to each corner of the room and not completely focusing. This is too much, he can't and wont talk about anything! Not to them at least; Ren, he'll understand won't he? Ren is the only one he can trust. And trust is a very hard thing to come by in this world, too many people working to hurt others or humiliate them for fun; it's hard to find an actual friend who will listen to what you _need_ and not just want. But Ren, he's always there for Aoba and he loves him for that, just like he loves the relationship they share.

He flinches when Clear places his hand on his shoulder. "Get out!" he repeats, sending a furious gaze towards both men, only cowering in fear as Koujaku advances toward him. _He's going to hurt you._

"Stay away!" he shouts. Aoba can feel all of his bones quaking as if there weren't any muscles to keep them in control; his whole body is like putty. And this isn't an unfamiliar feeling, fear and anxiety are two emotions that have bloomed to the surface in the amount of time he spend with Virus and Trip. Especially when they put him in that box, where darkness was his best friend and the only thing he could hear were his own screams reverberating through metal; glass breaking, cuts around his body. Of course, that's just metaphorically speaking for his mind shattering to pieces and destroying him from the outside. And this is the aftermath.... 

Seeing his distress, Clear backs away slowly, scared for the first time of his master. He glances over to Koujaku, eyebrows furrowed and fingers picking at his gloves. Timidly he asks, "What do we do? Master doesn't want to talk but...."  When Koujaku doesn't answer he grows irritated and a little frustrated. "Koujaku." he bites. Still nothing. All there is is a vacant stare behind his dark pupils, teeth worrying the inside of his cheek. Although Clear can't tell what he's thinking, he can definitely tell what he's feeling. It must be scary to see the one person you've always cared for deteriorate before your very eyes....

 _Keep your chin up Clear. Always smile._ Gasping, Clear's heart swells as he remembers his grandfather's words. He can't just stand around and be afraid, he needs to actually _help._

Taking a deep breath in, then exhaling slowly, Clear steps cautiously to Aoba's bed, disregarding the small whimpering noises he makes. "Aoba we need to talk about this." Using his master's first name tastes foreign and dangerous on his tongue.

He sets jaw and bends down lower with his knees resting on the floor. Cautiously, Clear lays his palm over Aoba's sweaty one, trying to ignore the cuts that drag down from his wrist.

"Move." Aoba wraps his arms around his torso, growing more uncomfortable by the minute. For him, it looks like his only escape is the door, with only Koujaku standing in the way.

A snake's hiss worms its way through the blue haired man's ears, a gross sound that he wants to go away but can't ignore. It's a warning from Virus, saying that if he leave the room he'll be punished. But Virus isn't here or Trip, they're gone.... Bile creeps up Aoba's throat as he feels something wet touch lower his arm; he thinks it's Hersha's tongue. Starting to twitch, Aoba's chin wrinkles and his lips upturn into a pout, something heavy lodges itself in his throat. He can feel himself start to break down and cry; he's just so confused and lost and feels disgusted with what he's become at the same time. The walls are closing more and more and he needs to leave, but if he leaves he'll be punished!

His headache from before spreads like a tumor, growing heavier and heavier to the point where Aoba can barely handle it. His vision blurs and twists together and he feels like he might faint. But like a puppet, he sprints forward and pushes past Koujaku and dashes down the hallway, bumping into something stone hard the way across. His entire mind is blank, not seeing or feeling anything except pain. From the kitchen, Noiz and Tae can here the door slam and immediately stalk toward it, thinking that it was Koujaku or Clear needing a break. But on que, the gang comes rushing down the stairs with Mink first in tow.

"That was Aoba!" Clear shouts, going straight for the door. Tae's first response was to leave and find her grandson, but Mink shot down everyone's objections with a howl to 'wait'. He might not say it aloud, but if anything, he wants to find Aoba and get a chance to talk.

"I know the streets better than you do." Clear looks taken aback at this so Mink sends a glare in his way. His patience is wearing thin with this whole ordeal. If Aoba doesn't start giving answers soon....

"And you think we trust you alone with Aoba?" Koujaku growls. The last time he saw his best friend with Mink, something pretty obvious happened that he never got the full picture of. He clearly had some sort of leverage over Aoba.

"I'm just going to find him and come back. Now shut the hell up." He turns to open the door when Tae calls his name.

"Mink!" Mink turns on his heel with a cool look in his eye. She steps up toward the burly man and motions her head toward the door. As they walk in, they can hear the rest of the gang arguing. She digs around in a few cabinets high and low, until she finally comes across a small vile of transparent fluid. She pulls out a syringe and fills it up halfway.

"A sedative." Mink states, knowing all too well that he'll need it. He takes the tool from her and drops it down his pocket, exiting the kitchen. Manners or no manners, he doesn't care about giving thanks to anyone. It's just an object.

As he comes into the living room, Koujaku is clearly pissed while Clear looks hesitant, balanced with an annoyed yet uncaring Noiz. When Mink passes shoulders with the blonde, Noiz sticks a tracker onto his coat sleeve.

 

As Aoba prowls about the street, his appearance is calm and proportioned; on the inside he's in turmoil. It feels like different voices are in his head, coaxing him to do absurd things like 'run away'. The loudest one chills Aoba to the bone, it's smooth and baritone and promises trouble. Yet he gets persuaded by it anyway when told where to turn as he gets lost through a maze of buildings.

Madness, the perfect word to describe Aoba. He's crazy with tons of problems, both emotional and physical, and it's just funny how the city seems like an exact copy of his mental state. Midorijima is a complex city, with shops around every corner and blinding lights to distract you for days. Add their dangerous gangs in and you've got a cluster of crazy. And so he wanders and wanders, stumbling and lost; his body feels so tired and malnourished that it's hard to keep up with it. Everything is loud, calling him closer and screeching like metal in his ears.

 _It hurts_.

 **Then lay down, Aoba.** Ren coaxes. The blue haired man can hear others yelling at him to be quiet and let things be, yet Ren's voice drowns out everything else even the loudest voice.

And like a switch, Aoba's conscience is flipped back on to its original state and he blinks, twisting his body and looking to see where he is. His brows furrow and his hands shake, now terrified and in the dark by himself. Anyone could take him at this moment and no one would notice! Virus or Trip could come stalking behind one of these buildings and shove him into the backseat of a car like last time. They could rape him like last time, hurt him like last time! _Crack._ He can hear himself throb and pulse like a thick wall of glass ready to shatter. Anxiety bubbles in his chest, lodging itself in his throat and it's hard to breathe. Short rasps of breath enter and exit his body, but not enough oxygen is getting through for him to filter out other impurities; those same impurities linger on inside his body and build up more and more to the point of combustion. Aoba sways onto his knees, trying to grip something, even the ground but finds that he can't so he just sinks onto his side, unable to breathe and still hurting. Swirls of pink and brown cloud his eyes and he starts to black out.

 

Mink is lost.

He would never admit that, but with so many shops and people around it's hard to find a single person from the crowd; even with Aoba's blue hair, other colors such as pink and neon yellow blend him in easily. 

He weaves in and out between crowds and back alleys, jaw clenched and shoulders tense. Many people scramble to move out of his way, intimidated by his large body and mean appearance as he turns onto a dark alley. It's strangely quiet and part of him urges his body forward, further and further into the fake midnight. Not wanting to waste time, Mink hurries farther in, too dark to see anything, but too dense to care. Just as he turns to leave, his foot hits something. He bends down immediately, feeling a soft cotton sweater and slick forehead. As Mink picks the body up and over his shoulder, he prepares the syringe in his pocket, not taking any chances. It could be a junky or some other random person for all he knows, but something inside tells him it's Aoba laying across his chest.

As he rounds the corner, now shrouded in light, Mink can see that his hunch was correct and that this is the man he was looking for. Once again, people move out the way and let him pass through. On his shoulder, Aoba starts to fidget, movements growing bigger and bigger to the point of him pounding on his chest. Mink clicks his tongue and pulls back into an alley, this one brighter than the last. Aoba starts to yell and holler, a blinding rage set behind his eyes but Mink can see how scared he is. He pins Aoba onto the wall harshly, pressing his elbow up to his neck.

"Talk." he says. When he gets no answer, Mink crushes him harder and growls.

"Please!" Aoba begs. He can feel himself start to shake. His body cringes and Mink raises and hand, knowing full well what his punishment will be. And just as expected, a harsh slap to the skin is what he received.

"Talk." he starts again, even more furious than before. All he's trying to do is help, but Aoba is making that hard for anyone to do. They still have Toue to deal with and this whole situation is setting them back! He growls once more, slamming his fist harshly onto Aoba's cheek.

 


	13. Possible Editor + Update Options

**Hey guys! I wanted to ask you a few questions regarding "Fill the Gaps" that will depend on how frequent I update this story.**

**If you are subscribed to my other accounts on Wattpad or Fanfiction then you know that I have another story that is currently being created as well. I was wondering if someone would be interested in editing this one and catching possible spelling mistakes or parts that don't make sense so when I update, the work will make more sense.**

**Another thing: would you prefer if I updated one long chapter per week or two short ones? I know managing two stories at once is pretty hard, but if I can come up with a schedule then the updates will flow easier with less bumps.**

**Just a few things to consider so please comment!!!**

 

**Luv u guyz,**

**OtakuDreams**

 


	14. Climax Part 2

 

It was scary, seeing Aoba like that.

 

Koujaku was more than terrified.

Clear had to use his voice.

Tae got medicine ready.

Noiz, although small, made some damage.

 

And Mink had to be pried off of the blue haired ghosts' body.

 

The boy was limp, bloody, convulsing....

 

Dead.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaacckkk! *wiggles eyebrows*


	15. Ravens and Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this is the first of two chapters that I'll be uploading this week. I've decided that for "Fix Me" I'll make two small chapters per week and for my other fiction, "Fill the Gaps", I'll upload one long chapter per week. Obviously I'm only human so please don't expect updates to be on time every week. Seeing as I'm still in school plus have dance pretty much everyday except Sunday, it'll be pretty hard brainstorming without all the extra crap I have to worry about ;) 
> 
> Nonetheless, I'm glad to be working on this fanfiction again and I can't wait to see the final conclusion of my work (hopefully you do too)
> 
> Enjoy!!!
> 
> (oh yeah, if you have questions then feel free to comment)

_"Oh, boy blue_

_Pull back at the chugging train_

_Huff and puff_

 

_Don’t stray far from your village_

_Your sanity can only take so much_

_Pull back at the chugging train"_

* * *

 

For days Aoba lived in a catatonic state, or a trance, as acknowledged by Tae. The blue haired ghost had become a lifeless doll, a void...just empty. Nobody knew where the man’s conscience escaped to, and nobody tried to find out.

His appearance seemed the same, as far as their eyes could distinguish. The only thing that was truly out of the ordinary was that Aoba’s dark, royal blue orbs became brighter than ever, always drifting between a golden and hazel pigment. Sometimes his skin would burn and armies of condensation droplets would bubble to the surface of his skin; a thousand snake bites setting fire through his veins.

 _“His body is over strained.”_ Supported a dash of pink.

Since the fallout between Mink and Aoba, the entire house has been layered and stuffed up with gloom. Everywhere you looked, someone’s grief proved to be overwhelming; the only thing holding ravens, healers,  artificials together, a mop of blue hair.

A friend, a grandson, a lover….

And all they could do was provide nourishment, just pray to Kami that he return to them.

 _Kami be damned,_ Koujaku thought.

* * *

 

I have no recollection of anything since…. I think falling asleep to my headphones mounted atop my ears. Something clearly happened, however, as their seems to be a new set of bruises and scratches littering my cheeks and jaw. Clear won’t stop fawning over me, just keeps insisting on doing everything I can probably do myself; I find it too exhausting to argue. As for Koujaku, him falling asleep in my arms has become a tradition. His touches don’t feel like...like….

            _My masters._

_No!_

_Dirty, unclean!_

Koujaku feels soft and dependable just like I remember; yet I can’t seem to stop shaking like a leaf whenever he approaches my body. _“It’s not your fault.”_ I reassure. And never once would he reply to me, didn’t even try to romanticize the numerous areas of damage on my body. For some reason I feel angered by this because…. I don’t know. Are we not friends anymore?

* * *

 

“Master, it’s time for dinner.” Clear coaxes. He approaches me slowly, peacefully, as if he has all the time in the world. I sigh tiredly, just having woken from my nap; Tae insists that my body needs plenty of rest since I’m still recovering. Never once have I protested, I feel like that’s overstepping a boundary, and I could do without the extra punishments.

I give Clear a sullen nod and rise off the bed. So far, eating has been easier as well as talking and bathing. Although it’s been only a week since I was taken back again, this time into the arms of my family, Tae san says my recovery is going well.

Physically, at least.

As the two of us trop down the stairs, Clear holds my hand in a gentle caress. How I can interpret this touch is endless, there are a lot of things that can be said by appearance or feeling, but I spare my mind the trouble and consider it as simple affection.

Clear pulls my chair out as I ease down slowly, still feeling like a tortoise. “Thank you.” I say. In return, he beams a hundred rays of light in my direction. Once everyone is settled, I acknowledge Koujaku and Tae san with a small smile; it probably came out shaky and strained, but it’s an effort at least.

“How are you feeling, Aoba?” Tae asks.

“Tired.”

“It’ll pass once your body has recovered fully. All of the drugs those two devils put into your system is still running its course.” I frown at her choice of words, not quite understanding.

“I was never injected with anything.”

Silence….

Tae pauses with her chopsticks lingering over a bowl of rice and veggies, then resumes her eating. I try to wait for an answer for a few moments, but impatience gets the better of me. “Tae san?” I can see her wince slightly and finish chewing her food; as she opens her mouth there’s an audible crack beside me. Koujaku’s eyes are blaring red, hand holding his teacup in a death grip. Once again, my body quakes with vigor, heart threatening to leap out of my chest and leave me gaping. I don’t like it when he becomes like this, and it seems that the more I’m around him, the more it happens. Timidly, I scoot my chair more towards Clear who sits impassively to my right. The white haired creature gives me a worried glance, looking hesitant to say something until he decides on saying nothing. For a moment I’m awestruck at how similar Koujaku and Clear are to Virus and Trip; one is always angered by the smallest of details, while the other is calm and collected and handles things professionally.

_Stupid. Don’t think like that. They’re nothing like the two devils!_

“Koujaku! Calm yourself now.” Tae san bites. That seems to snap him out of his thoughts, whatever they were. He stops clutching the cup in a heartbeat, looking ashamed and confused as he gazes upon me and Clear. Abruptly, he scoots out of his chair and exits the kitchen, muttering  ‘excuse me’ at his departure. Part of me wants to call out to him to stay, but I’m too scared of him to ask.

“Aoba?” Clear soothes. He runs a hand across my back and I find myself jumping, despite knowing it’s a white haired angel who only wants to help.

“Gomen!” I gasp. _Why am I so scared?_

“Enough, Clear. I think we’ve kept the truth for as long as we could.” Tae broods. She sets the chopsticks with a _click_ upon the tiny rice bowl, and places her hands in a business like manner on the table.  “When you were taken, Aoba, it wasn’t,” she sighs, “wasn’t normal. Your entire abduction was a coverup for what they were really doing to you at the Tower.”

_Tower?_

“That’s where they found you, yes.” I blink, not noticing that I’ve thought aloud. For some reason, I want to believe that what they did to me never really happened, but I have too many scars on my body prove her theory wrong. Despite myself, I urge her to continue as Clear puts away the dishes now that everyone’s appetite has disappeared. _Because I’m disgusting._

“Do you remember how I told you about your power to use Scrap?” She prompts.

I try to think of what the word means, but so far I’m coming up empty. Finally, I shake my head ‘no’ the same time a seat is pulled out beside me as well as a pot of tea and several small cups.

“It’s okay. Maybe that’s for the best then.” She answers. “Back when I worked for Toue, I was working on several projects for him involving those who have lost all self awareness in their brains. I looked and tested different theories for cures, and in the end I came very close to solving the overall problem. Later on, I found out that Toue was using my research for activities far more evil than anything I’ve seen.”

“I remember,” I start, “I remember you telling me this before we left…”

“Please don’t take offense to this Aoba, but what happened to you wasn’t real. None of it! They drugged you, put you through different simulations to see how you would react to certain medicines and in the heat of it all, I believe what Virus and Trip made you see, _feel_ , was all for fun.” I bite my lip, wanting to vomit more than ever.

“When I found you master, you were hooked to so many wires that I thought you were part of the machine. You looked dead, gone and I could see every bone in your body.” Clear traces a thumb over my shoulder. “I believe what Tae is saying is true.”

_They’re lying._

_You experienced what they didn’t._

_It’s not true._

_They raped you._

_You’re a piece of trash!_

_How could all of that be made up?_

“Liar.” I mutter. Suddenly disgusted ( _how could I say that?),_ I quickly shut my mouth, now more repulsed than ever of myself. At least I thought I did.

“What Virus and Trip did to me was real, you saw me. You all saw me! I was raped! I was beaten and humiliated. They made me touch myself…. I was starved and forced to look at the disgusting piece of flesh I’ve become, forced to wear a collar and act like a dog! Their dog….” Tae starts to open her mouth but I fix her a glare and continue.

“None of what I’ve experience can be faked with medicine, no matter how sick Toue is. It’s not possible!” I’m pretty sure I look disgusting right now, with my hair frayed and saliva and tears leaking out of me. Not to mention the constant stuttering to top it all off.

“Tell me again that what was done to me was fake! _Say it again!_ ” I yell. Without thinking, I grab the closest dish next to me and throw it to the wall, startled at the unexpectedly loud noise it makes as it shatters.

“Aoba san!” Clear warns. He stalks toward me within seconds and embraces me in a comfortably loose hug. I try to force my body to calm down, to just stop shaking and being so annoying but it feels like the last bit of my sanity has been yanked from underneath my feet. I clutch my fists into his white blouse, shaking like I’m my own personal earthquake, and start sobbing into his chest. As I’m wailing I can hear pieces of the teacup being picked up and thrown into the trash. “Master,” he soothes, “It’s okay. Cry all you want, we’ll work this out together, I promise.”

I comply and wrap onto his body tightly, refusing to leave our current position. I wail and holler for several minutes, always starting again as soon as I stop. But I find that the more I let it out, the smaller my aches become. Eventually, all there is is a quiet angel and small sniffles.

“Would you put him to bed please?” I hear. Clear’s chin bobs softly on my shoulder.

“Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you master?”

Hesitantly, I say, “I need help.” He takes his answer and scoops one arm underneath my knees, the other one supporting my upper back. Overall, it’s an embarrassing position but once again I’ve found myself at the mercy of this mysterious white angel.

* * *

 

_Yurayura yurameku nami no ma ni_

_Kirakira kagayaku koe wa tada yure anata e to_

 

_Yume miru kurage wa uta utau yo_

_Yasashii umibe de memuru_

 

_Yurayura yurameku hikari no tsubu_

_Kirakira kagayaki koe wa tada yure anata e to_

 

Clear’s lullaby is a special one.

He seems to have a God like voice that should be kept secret and only shared to those most special to him. It’s beautiful.

“Again.” I plead, nursing a cup of tea in my hands. I can feel myself start to drift despite not wanting to. I don’t want to go back where the nightmares lay. Not yet at least. He smiles, eyes filled with such a gentleness that I was completely oblivious to when I first met him.

“Once more, master.” And he sings, and sings and sings. It’s the same lullaby as before, but the tune hasn’t lost its charm; I don’t think it ever will. Once he finishes, probably for the last time seeing as I’m now underneath the covers with my head propped on a pillow without noticing, he glides his fingers through my hair and leans in to touch foreheads.

“Sweet dreams, Aoba san.”

I slept peacefully that night.


	16. Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30 days 'till Aoba recovers....

 

 

Koujaku isn't sure what topics are safe to talk about when around Aoba. He feels that whenever he starts up a conversation, the object of attention always relates back to what happened to the blue haired doll. Whether he's discussing Toue's _dogs_   or saving himself from a _nightmare_ , the hat is growing even smaller with less and less options to chose from. Koujaku just can't figure out how to act around his best friend after finding out he was...

 _That._ By them.

And how do you act when the same person asks to spend the day with you?

"Yeah, okay. Let me know when you're ready." Is Koujaku's clipped answer when a timid looking Aoba peeps his head around the corner of the living room. The mop of blue hair bobs his head in understanding and disappears up the stairway to get dressed. Meanwhile, Koujaku paces the floor, nervous; his walking back and forth are sure to leave dents in the mat. He figures that after everything his best friend has been through, the least Koujaku could do is take him somewhere. Except the doll is afraid of crowded places, can't stand sweet aromas or overwhelming scents of food. Not to mention the haunted and longing look he gets whenever allmates are mentioned. Where could Koujaku take him without scaring him, but somewhere that isn't completely boring?

A tugging on his shirt brings Koujaku back to the present. He looks down into bright blue eyes and suddenly gets an idea. A blush creeps up his cheeks with nostalgia. "It's a nice day out. How about we visit the park?" he offers. And the biggest smile that the raven has ever seen since Aoba's rescue blooms across the doll's lips, dismissing every doubt that he had before.

"Yeah!" he urges, but then winces as if the tone of his own voice scared him. Strange though, he sounded as quiet as a mouse. Cautiously, Koujaku turns to face Aoba fully, now concerned, and holds his forearms in place. Aoba tenses beneath his touch.

"Are you okay? Do you have a headache again?" he asks softly. He releases Aoba's forearms after a few moments of silence to grab some medicine and water from the kitchen. Once he returns, Aoba is sitting on the couch, cradling his chin in his hand. "Take these then we'll go." Too weak to argue, the blue haired doll plucks each pill from Koujaku's palm and downs them with small sips of his drink.

"Thank you." His voice comes out raspy and he clears it, throat dry although water was just consumed moments ago. "Let's go."

And so they walk in silence, both too shy to start a conversation. Koujaku makes sure to keep Aoba on the inside of his stride where the walkway is mostly clear and ushers them through spacious alleys as short cuts to keep the nerve level down to zero. As for Aoba, he just makes sure to swallow down memories of being choked to death by big hands and angry eyes.

After a few minutes of scrambling out of people's ways and keeping their sanity, the pair finally makes it to a small, open clearing filled with woodchips and the basics of a children's playground: A slide, a pair of swings, monkey bars, and a teeter totter.

Koujaku breathes in the musk of dirt and sweaty grass and stale woodchips. To say that this place is nostalgic is an understatement. It's their special place. _Their_ special place. "What do you want to do?" the raven asks. He scolds himself for not thinking of packing bentos and drinks for them to share; the day is hot with no wind present. Then again, wouldn't it seem like...a date? Beside him, the younger man flinches and swallows thickly, not appreciating the raven's word selection.

_"What should we do today, Aoba san?"  Virus' cold hands snake up the doll's body, admiring the small red welts left behind from their last play session. He frowns at the new purple bruises on his pale and creamy skin, deciding to scold Trip later for his recklessness. " I think I want to mark you to reclaim this body. You should appreciate that I care for you so much Aoba."  Care, but not love. These devils can't feel that emotion._

"No! Ow!" Aoba flashes back to the present with a gasp and sinks to his knees, gripping the sides of his head as if trying to keep all the hurt from leaking out. But Koujaku doesn't want that, he wants Aoba to be open with him to make it feel better.

"Don't keep it in Aoba. What's bothering you?" he coaxes. The doll shivers and tries to calm his beating heart. The harsh pounding in his skull makes every noise around him roar and rip through his ears, making it seem like he's under water. Come to think of it, he can't breathe. He's drowning. They're holding him down and he's drowning! There's a faint thundering in the distance:

"Aoba! Aoba, look at me! Aoba!" Koujaku starts to panic himself, not completely sure what's wrong with him now. Aoba seemed fine moments ago and now he's just.... _No_ , he thinks. _Fix the problem, don't just stare_! Slapping himself together, Koujaku swishes away at the fog clouding his vision and he scoots the doll up by his shoulders, sliding the young man into his lap and sitting on a nearby swing. The raven starts to rock back and forth, muttering reassurances and safe words to bring his best friend back home. Soon enough, Aoba's breathing slows to a stead pace and his muscles quit twitching. "Better?" the scarred man asks. He keeps rocking back and forth, back and forth like he used to years ago.

Aoba relaxes with an exhale and pats the raven's thigh to signal him to stop swaying. For a moment he gets the overwhelming feeling to vomit, sour bile nearly shooting out his throat. He gags and Koujaku finally gets the message.

"Can we sit for a while?" the doll asks.

"Yeah. Take your time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School starts tomorrow so get ready for a crazy schedule of updates!!!!
> 
> Also, this chapter will be continued whenever I can. I wish that I had more time to draft this out, but chores and last minute homework are calling. 
> 
> One more thing, leave comments below if you have suggestions or ideas on Aoba's 30 day recovery, I'll take any story prompts you have to offer. I might do an epilogue as well, but leave that part to me.
> 
> Love you guys!!  
> OtakuDreams


	17. Nostalgia Part 2

 The raven starts to rock back and forth, muttering reassurances and safe words to bring his best friend back home. Soon enough, Aoba's breathing slows to a stead pace and his muscles quit twitching. "Better?" the scarred man asks. He keeps rocking back and forth, back and forth like he used to years ago.

Aoba relaxes with an exhale and pats the raven's thigh to signal him to stop swaying. For a moment he gets the overwhelming feeling to vomit, sour bile nearly shooting out his throat. He gags and Koujaku finally gets the message.

"Can we sit for a while?" the doll asks.

"Yeah. Take your time."

The rusted metal chains creak as two men sit in silence; their thoughts thicken and weigh each other down like weights. They are attached to each other's ankles, and slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Together. Always together.

 _Always drowning_. 

Aoba grits his teeth; the crack of loose filling signals the beginning of a meltdown. And just like bergs of ice beggining to shatter like glass, a dam is unleashed, and the glacial lakes begin to fall. He sniffles and continues to inflict pain on himself, digging sharp nails into red cloth and sinking canines into sensitive, quivering flesh. It feels like a half hour or so until Aoba finally calms down; his body, weights still attached, slumps againts Koujaku slowly, as if he were afraid that comfort would not be welcome.

_Always the whiney bitch._

 The pounding in his head is not letting up, and for a moment he is afraid that he will loose control once again. He applies pressure to the temples of his skull to releive the pressure. Before he begins talking, Aoba takes a large breath through his nose and exhales, swallowing thickly at the heavy tongue lolling about his mouth. "W-when...." He shakes his head and starts over. "There are certain things, words, that are still fresh, that are still  _raw_ and...hearing those words remind me of back then. The actions that tagged along with those words, the memories that they have implanted in me, are still painful." Aoba pinches his eyebrows tightly together. He does not want to say anything more. 

"I understand." Koujaku answers. The beating of his heart and rush of blood can be heard through his thin clothing. At least one of them is still very much alive. From a bystander's point of view, one could say that Aoba resembles a corpse; thin, sickly, pale, hair fringing at the tips. "What was it that I- how did-"  _Was it my fault?_ he wants to say. He made a mistake. His comrade fell. He paniked. Koujaku did all of the things that a warrior should not do; he is not sure whether his flaw can be forgiven.

Beneath him though, Aoba snuggles wearily into his chest. "I don't know. It happens." But he does know; he knows, remembers the words Koujaku spilled and how they affected him; panic attack, flashbacks. Trauma. 

"Lying won't fix this problem."

"I am not lying."

"God, Aoba. Can't you just-"  _Trust me?_

"No." A barked command silences and marks the end of their discussion. The doll has gone ridged and still, like all of his muscles have wound so tightly that it is impossible to relax.

Koujaku did that. 

Aoba does not feel comfortable with him anymore.

The stubborn raven snarls and his eyes flash a dangerous crimson. He slings a protective arm around Aoba's middle and fingers bruises into the man's flesh. Aoba excepts this pain. He is the lesser being here. "Relax." he grits. A bony torso melts like putty. Aoba's arms follow suit, then his head. He feels sick. "What words should I avoid saying?"

Aoba curls his lips into a wry smile, lays an imaginary match of chess within the compartment of his  mind palace and strategizes his words with caution. "Any and all."

"You aren't avoiding this any longer."

"Yes I will."

Abrutly, Koujaku jumps up to his full height, a snarl on his lips. "Do you think this is game, damnit?!" he curses. He can feel the bloodthirsty flower crawl along his back and up his shoulder blades; his anger is getting out of control.

The next thing he knows, Koujaku is shoving Aoba back onto the swing and twisting him round and round by the chains, creating  licorice looking bondage that ties the doll up from the torso up. Aoba splutters on a choked breath, but before he can make any noises of protest, he bites down harshly on his bottom lip and closes off his airway. His thudding heart compresses and squeezes painfully in his chest. It feels like someone is squeezing the life out of the organ, denying blood from flowing freely through his veins. Is this panic? Should he beg for forgiveness? There are no chances of winning this fight, he's weak and vulnerable and powerless beneath the raven haired beast; ragged breaths puffing through his chest and red hot heat creeping up Koujaku's cheeks.

The chains are getting tighter, oxygen isn't making its way to Aoba's brain. His skull is pounding, he can feel sweat on his palms; his futile attempts at untwisting the chains weakening. Suddenly, there is blood curdling scream and Aoba, shamefully, realizes that the sound is coming from him. Like a switch, the screams turn into laughter, laughter turns into hysteria. Blue eyes transform into hazel, and then there is calm. The harsh breathing of Koujaku is the only sound present between the two males. The beast waits for several moments, unaware of the doll's personality change. He thinks that Aoba is calming down once more, and is steeling himself for an overdue conversation. 

For a moment, Koujaku thinks Aoba has passed out due to emotional fatigue. He bends down, eye to forehead on his knees and reaches a hand out to Aoba's knee after unwinding the chains; he's horrified of what he just did. The younger man's body does not move an inch at contact. _Shit_ , he curses. _What have I done?_   Koujaku shudders harshly.

"...Aoba?"

 


	18. Jigsaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter of a two part puzzle.

**Time: Unknown**

A whisp of blue hair. A conniving grin. Hazel eyes that seem to kill the weak.

 

Sly is on the move.

 

He isn't running, not at all. He's just trying to get away from the idiots who have kept him locked up for too long.

 

The rebel feels...jittery. Like fire ants are crawling under his pale skin and giving him an undiserved licking.

 

Sly snaps his head side to side. He pants, out of breath but not out of time. These streets are made to be used like this; abused and a last attempt at survival. He should be fine for a while longer.

 

Long limbs cut the corner with ease, cool air bites at his skin and makes his eyes water. The sun is out, but only partially, hidden behind dank buildings and shady nightclubs.

 

He has time.  
____________________________________

 

"Ah," Aoba sighs, "About time we switched." The doll stands up from his place on the swing and stretches his limbs. He spits into the woodchips with a scowl, ridding the taste of stale vomit.

 

Koujaku eyes his best friend warily. There is a tense air around Aoba now, almost as if an invisible force of pure malice shields his body. The beast gulps and steps forward.

 

"Are you okay-"

 

"Are you okay, Aoba?" He mocks. "That's all you ever ask me. Are alright? Do you need help? Is there anything I can do? You know you can talk to me." Aoba scowls, baring his teeth slightly. He sits back on his heels with his hands in his jeans and gazes at the sky.

 

It's a nice day.

 

"You were crying. I was just-" Koujaku gestures helplessly with his hands.

 

"Helping?" Aoba adds. Koujaku nods. The doll rolls his eyes. He drop his chin to look at Koujaku once more, scowl turning into amusement. "That's all you ever seem to do."  
____________________________________

 

"What did you do?" The pink haired healer clenches her jaw in agitation. She leans herself on the couter of the kitchen, next to bowls of rice and beef and veggies.

 

Beyond the dining table a blue haired menace rests on her couch. But this man...this menace, is not her grandson.

 

"Koujaku. Who is sitting in the other room right now?"  
____________________________________

Finally, he catches a break.

 

Sly nears a cheap bar, barricaded with rusty partition poles and a single-key lock. He smirks and rolls his eyes, closing in on the lock and yanking it off with a snap of his wrist. The wooden door creaks open slightly. He enters.

 

Sly fumbles around for a light switch, cursing when he runs into tables and chairs or a poorly crafted pool table.

 

"Fucking dump." He mutters.

 

Finally, after crossing the entire bar, a tiny switch is found in the corner next to a narrow closet. Sly turns it on and allows himself to sigh.

 

"Really?"  
___________________________________

 

Koujaku and Tae round the dining table, stepping into the living room. They continue onward so that the pink haired healer can take a look at her...grandson. She steps in front of Aoba, expecting to pull some information from him, only to slump her shoulders in dissapointment. As she scans his face, her eyes widen at the sight of a large, purple bruise covering Aoba's left eye, spiraling toward his temple.

 

"I had to knock him out. He tried to run." Koujaku explains.

 

"Why?" Tae stands patiently to the side of Aoba. On the exterior she appears calm; her insides are seething with rage.

 

"He-" The Beast struggles to explain himself. He knows that he can't offer a simple explanation as to how things got this far. He never meant to hurt Aoba. He was just trying to help. "He switched suddenly. To the other guy."

 

"Sly?"

 

"Yes."

 

The healer changes posture immediately. She commands Koujaku to bring Noiz and Clear down.

 

"I need a syringe and some strong sedative. I trust that you know where it is?"

 

"Yes." Koujaku scurries off without a second thought. If he's correct, Tae plans to keep Aoba (Sly) under until they can figure out what to do. They are going to need to keep him inside the house or he will run.

 

Just as he returns, he greets Noiz and Clear back in the living room. He stops abruptly as he spots Clear glaring at him from behind the couch. Although innocent, this pale, slender figure qualifies as a assassin if you strike the right nerve.

 

It seems Koujaku has done just that.  
___________________________________

My past no longer determines my future. But the past can still affect it.

 

What is fear? What is pain? What is lonliness? What is regret?

 

How do I escape these thick chains of desire and restraint? Why can't I feel the unbreakable metal biting into my skin? Do I still harbor any regrets for not opening up sooner?

 

Well, that's just something to reflect on.

 

"No." The answer is 'no' and will always be 'no'. Aoba bashes his forehead into a strong jaw. He hears a crack and drip of blood in his dark space.

 

Somehow, he feels the answer is wrong.  
___________________________________

Thick, brawny arms branded with tatoos shoulder a gun. His boots click on the floor, wood creaking at his weight. The man sharpens his gaze to the blue haired doll in the corner, hands dangling at his sides. He gives a questioning glance at Aoba's bloody knuckles.

 

"Why are you here?" He demands. Mink inches closer and closer, sidestepping pool tables with ease as if he has the place memorized.

 

"I'm on vacation." Sly answers.

 

Mink's ears perk up at the deeper and more mature tone of Aoba. He lifts a finger at the nasty bruise covering half the man's visage. "What happened to your face?"

 

"Well damn. You don't have to be so blunt about it. I expected an apology for our next meeting." Sly smiles and licks his lips. He strides from his corner of the room to meet Mink halfway.

 

"You can buy me a drink first." Mink clenches his hands, looking down on him with contained anger and lust. Sly is on him like second skin, chest to chest; his warm breath heating his pectorals. Apologizing is out of the question.

 

He thinks the Demon just might know that.

 

"Mink." Sly calls. He runs his bloody hands over the Native's thick biceps. "Don't be rude. **Buy me a drink**." He uses his Scrap voice while looking into dark orbs. Dark like his personality. Edgy like his spirit.

 

Mink isn't sure how or why, but the next thing he knows he is exiting the bar and halfway down the street to a liquor store.  
____________________________________

"You don't deserve Aoba." Clear says.

 

"So far, you and Mink are the one screwing shit up." Noiz bites.

 

"If you want to help, get out." Tae sighs tiredly.  
____________________________________

 _"I've made up my mind."_   
____________________________________

Two men dance with each other horizontally. The scent of cinnamon adds spice to an aroma of oil. Both are running smooth like well manufactured machines, they take each other in a power play of sorts.

 

Pants, groans, satisfaction.

 

Sly looks at Mink from his assuming position over the man's lap. He stares at him with wide eyes and clenches at the man's fishnet sleeves, grinding narrow hips furiously. Sly can feel his length filling up with blood and heat, can feel Mink gaining on with his affect.

 

He takes a small sip of sake and puckers his lips; Sly meets the other man's lips and passes on the alcohol through a messy kiss. Mink bites down on his lip before Sly can retreat. He runs two large palms up and down the curve of his ass, only pausing when Sly takes the opportunity to moan and grind harder. Mink exhales harshly at the body numbing pleasure he feels.

 

He wants to take Sly.

 

"Are you going to fuck me soon?" Sly pants. He can just imagine Mink thrusting into his tight hole, getting to feel his internal muscles shifting and pulling and stretching; that beautiful exttacy that he's been missing for years.

 

Virus and Trip never fucked him right.

 

They were either too clean or too rough; just unworthy men that challenged the rules of BDSM and morphed them into something disgusting.

 

But Mink, Mink can give him satisfaction.

 

Without warning, Mink flips themselves over the pool table. Sly is on his back now, legs spread in invitation and a painfully hard erection pulling at his jeans. Mink growls and claims the Devil.  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So.... That was different. All of this is understandably confusing, but there is some symbolism going on here. I'm not going to explain any of my logic, just try to analyze it if you can. But I will say that this chapter's theme is Past, Present, and Future. It's up to you to put them in the right order.
> 
> Love,  
> OtakuDreams


	19. Jigsaw Part 2

 

These are the last clues that I will be giving to you to put together in order to understand the "Fix Me" sequel.  Remember that our theme is: past, present, and future.  
Enjoy!

 

  
[This is the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhkpTMV3f8o)­­­­­

* * *

  
"If you want to leave here, you have to think. Answer honestly Aoba: Are you happy with yourself?"

 

Aoba finds himself tired and so, so frustrated. It seems that every time the answer would come to him, it would just fly away or turn out to be the wrong decision. Would this be his life forever? Listening to the deep, baritone voice of his all mate Ren, and dangling from non existent chains like a puppet? What is going on outside his conscience? Is everyone worried about him? These are the questions that Ren refuses to answer, adding to Aoba's annoyance. 

 

The doll considers just hanging there for the rest of his life, but all of the time he's spent in there (how ever long it's been), Aoba is starting to realize how many privileges he owned before the accident. Although Aoba has never seen his parents, he still had ba-chan. Even though he was made fun of almost every single day of the year when he was younger, Koujaku came to save him. And although many bad people have come to ruin his and the lives of many, Aoba had been supported by the most unlikely and unpredictable people. He had friends and family that cared about him. And Aoba just about ruined their relationships by shutting them out.  The incident with Virus and Trip is in the past now; what they did doesn't define his future actions. Aoba is still traumatized, this is correct, but maybe if he just listens and trusts others to lead the way, everything might be okay....

 

Aoba lifts his chin slightly, peering into the darkness. He doesn't know where Ren is, but he doesn't care. 

 

Aoba has made his decision.

* * *

  
"I know where master is." Clear looks at Tae dead on, pink eyes melting with the healer's. He rises from his seated position on Aoba's bed, wrinkling the pale blue sheets even further, and unlocks the window. Clear contemplates jumping out into the open. This is his break! After days of not being able to sense Aoba, he has finally heard his voice. It was calling to him...yet Clear feared that by the time he arrived, Aoba would change his mind and hide again.

 

Tae senses his reluctance and gives a wry smile. Clear has always been the most considerate. 

 

"Go get my foolish grandson Clear. If he called out for you, for anyone, then we need to help him." she states. Clear nods, removing the latch, causing the window to creak open slightly and let a ray of sunlight shine through. He basks in its warmth for a few moments before dashing up and over the rooftops.  


* * *

  
"You know, they just might kill you for having sex with me." Sly throws back his head, guzzling down the sake. He cuddles up next to Mink to his disliking. His trench coat does nothing to hide Sly's skin, revealing pale shoulders and hickeys and bruises. Mink just puffs smoke from his cinnamon scented cigar.  


* * *

  
"I'm still bleeding out. But I want to get better."

 

"My choice is...."

 

"I want to be with someone who...."

 

"I don't have to explain my intentions."

 

"You're not the right one."  
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

  
The chains have broken. Now there is a seal on his heart.  
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

  
Clear watches, horrified, as Aoba falls to his knees screaming in agony. He's pulling at the roots of his hair, some blue strands falling out as he rakes through them. Aoba falls onto his side and screams even harder to the point where his voice even falls silent for a few moments. His body seizes, causing him to flinch every now and then and thump his head against the pavement. Clear catches sight of the doll's eyes; they flicker from dark blue to hazel, then light blue and hazel again.

 

Clear has a feeling that he shouldn't interfere with this transformation. Aoba is finding himself again. He's coming back to them at last. Clear can just feel it.  


* * *

  
"I'm taking him with me."  
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

* * *

  
"You were right ba-chan."

 

She lifts a curious eyebrow. "About what?"

 

Aoba just smiles at says, "None of it was real."

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                           

                                 

                                                                                                   **End**  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....
> 
> Thoughts?


	20. Orphaned

**Okay you guys, so I have to be honest with you.**

**I'm not exactly feeling this story anymore.**

**It's not because the fandom got boring or I'm just stumped in ideas, but basically because of the way I carried the plot. Please understand when I say that this was actually my very first fanfiction, and by looking at the first couple of chapters, the writing quality can be easily be described as basic.**

**At the same time, I am very grateful for writing this book because it gave me a preview into what writing for other's for entertainment would mean to me and you; in a sense, "Fix Me" was a test run that improved my writing skills over time. And now, if I take a look at my most recent works, I think the majority of you readers can say that I have improved A LOT. "For example, Thomas Sinew Pulled the Trigger" is going better than expected, as well as monthly prompts for "This is Our Design". Ideas are literally flying in and out of my head at such a constant feed that I can barely write down all of my ideas without something else replacing it.**

**So here's what I'm going to do.**

**Maybe tonight, tomorrow, possibly Sunday, "Fix Me" will be orphaned. BUT I will restart the entire book with a different, less complicated, and easy to follow plot.**

* * *

 

**Any comments, questions, or concerns? I won't be offended if you decided to curse me out for being a sucky author. But hopefully you respect my honesty.**

 

**I'm sorry for all the trouble!**

**Love,**

**no_bun_ballet**

 

 

 


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